The Struggling Communicator

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“Communication is important! You need more clarity! Where’s the impact– Are you listening?”

Communication. It’s the building block of relationships and the downfall as well. We live in a period of free and open communication. Generation Z, in particular, is an epitome of this. There’s a lot of slangs and jargons not many people would understand. And there are so many implications nowadays in texting, posting and, of course, presenting.

It’s always a nagging question to ask myself, “Am I a good communicator?”

And it’s also a source of insecurity when I’m not able to grasp the fundamental aspects in communicating, for example, the 7C’s.

It’s no act that I pretend I’m a great speaker or communicator (It’s false confidence). I usually create a false notion in my head that I’m good at communicating. But of course, it tends to lead to the opposite, which is miscommunication and becoming an absolute stuttering mess. And my mind goes blank!

In many scenarios, I had a lot of lousy presentation and communication skills throughout this module. Like one time, we had a mock interview… it was a literal jumble in my head. My thoughts just went everywhere. And I couldn’t stop fidgeting! That itself says a lot on my side as a person.

The other instance was the random call-on to speak every once in a while. So, I usually prepare a short note on what I understand and try to convey it in my perspective as much as possible. Still, it ended up being more average and not a quality standard of what was needed, and I end up feeling tiny (mentally and physically… man... body language problems). It demotivated me a lot, but knowing myself better now, I plan to become more exceptional with constant practice.

There’s always a hidden implied meaning in behaviour, and in my defence, it’s become a habit of fidgeting a lot. I’m sure many others as well because it’s done when we’re under stress or facing anxiety.

But I did realise, though I’m not so great at speaking, I’m awesome at listening.

After watching 5 Ways to Listen Better, the acronym: RASA

which technically means to receive, appreciate, summarise and ask, I believe, as a good listener, I’ve been applying this in informal and formal settings. Though it’s not certain I’ll answer it in the best way possible, I’ve always been keen on understanding and listening first before giving comments in conversations. It’s why I believe I’m an adept active listener before being a communicator.

It's always difficult to maintain a steady level of patience while speaking, so I plan to follow these tips:

- Be relaxed

- Maintain the interest

- Know my audience

Recommended Readings/Videos

5 ways to listen better - Julian Treasure (TED)

Your body language may shape who you are - Amy Cuddy

How to Be an Effective Communicator in 7 Easy Steps - Walden University

How to Become an Effective Communicator - Indeed

Five Ways to Sharpen Your Communication Skills - John Baldoni

What it Means to Be a Good Listener - Good Choices Good Life

What Great Listeners Actually Do - Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman